hara-kiri

2011-02-26T23:58:00.000+08:00

What would you do if i said that I was crying out for love.

Time

2010-12-14T13:48:00.003+08:00

Suddenly, my time at HC is finished, gone and I'm on my way to Korea for a holiday.

Time passes.

Actually time has always been passing. With everything that has been going on in these two years, JC seem like it would never end. There was always something to look forward to, block test 1, holidays, training, events, A levels... At that time, time seemed insubstantial. Like it would go on and on, without stopping, marked by the different events that dotted my life in HC.

But now it is rather hard to regain that feeling. There are no events to measure the extent of time, so much so that I start to lose track of the days of the week. So, today is a Tuesday. It doesn't feel like a Tuesday. What about training? What about studying? No, I just laze about at home and just like that, Tuesday is gone.

When I was caught up in the never-ending stream of work and fun in JC, time seemed to pass so slowly.

But in a flash everything is over.

With prom finished and the excitement no longer there, it's getting pretty boring.

Ohwells. I hope I have fun in Korea.

When I get back, it would be on a Thursday or Friday.

Upset

2010-11-29T22:09:00.004+08:00

I'm so so so so upset.

It's like a chain of bad things happened all at once in a short span of time. I have no more muscles/ stamina. It's like I can't even do a 3 step anymore. OR 6 step. which is the most basic of all moves. I spent the 3.5hours TRYING to get my 6step, 3step, octopus. I don't think I can do a cc or a pretzel. I have degenerated to a worm-like state. Am going to degenerate further if I don't do something drastic like run everyday and push ups every night or sth. As has ruined my health...

I can't believe I even forgot how to do backrocks.

It's a pretty depressing thought.

Very depressing thought indeed.

And when I got home, thinking that everyone was at home, I rang the doorbell. The same way I've always rang it, twice, rapidly. I waited for almost a minute but the door still remained closed. So I did the most obvious thing that anyone would have done, ring the doorbell again, in the same way, twice, rapidly. THEN THERE WAS A FLURRY OF MOVEMENT BEHIND THE DOOR.

AND. OH JOY, my mom opened the door.

"WHY DID YOU RING THE DOORBELL!"

just like that I got scolded.

For ringing the doorbell.

FRUSTRATED.

and I had to cancel on my friends, coz my dad was angry.

sigh

I just got scolded for using the heater....

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wonderful.

Right after As to boot.

2010-09-23T09:54:00.001+08:00

It needs to STOP.

Right away

2010-09-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

bloody fuck.

do you know how it feels to be daoed because of something that happened between two other people. i guess not.

hiromix

2010-09-13T19:52:00.003+08:00

"Youth reflects transparency and beauty.

Despite our lack of experience, the world often confronts us with unforgivable situations.

We believe, more than anyone, in things that cannot be seen.

Many unknown worlds are awaiting us.

Surrounded by people and things we love,

We smile carefree smiles."

1998.7.15

Hiromix"

Tired

2010-09-06T22:39:00.001+08:00

I haven't felt like this for a long time.
I'm just so fucking tired of everything that it isn't funny anymore.

Juliette

2010-08-23T21:58:00.001+08:00

EVEN THOUGH I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING

Juliette

쏟아 질듯 한 달빛 역시 어두워

터질 듯 타는 횃불 너도 마찬가지

그녀에게 빛이 나는 법을 배워야 해

그녈 보면 눈이 멀어버릴 꺼야

제발 기회를 줘요 날 보는 눈 마치 널 안고 싶어서

안달 난 내게 장난치는 여우같아

Juliette! 영혼을 바칠께요

Juliette! 제발 날 받아 줘요

Juliette! 달콤히 좀 더 달콤하게

속삭여 나의 세레나데

달콤한 중독 활.활.불타오르는 유혹

Lip, 쓴 독이라도 I’m Romeo 그댈 지키는 기사도

유리병에 갇힌 사랑은 빨간 신호

그댄 이미 온 세상의 중심 나만의 초점

하루 종일 장난치듯 날 밀고 당기고 무너져도

또 내 온몸을 감싼 그대 향기를 좇아

멈출 수 없으니 내 심장, 숨결도 모두 다 가져요

제발 맘을 열어요 날 대하는 몸짓 또 스쳐 지나도

떨리는 가슴 금방이라도 터지겠어

아무 말도 안 해도 이미 모두 알고 있는 걸

그대 두 눈이 간절히 나를 원한다 했잖아요

이젠 벗어날 수 없어 널 쫒는 습관조차

참을 수 없는 중독처럼 퍼진 걸

내 사랑은 정열의 태양 오직 그대만 그대만

다시 태어나도 한사람 내 맘은 찬란하게 빛나

내 맘은 찬란하게 빛나

=D

2010-08-22T23:08:00.000+08:00

Jonghyun is darn cute;

Blah, must be prelim stress getting to me.

cn

2010-08-20T23:37:00.001+08:00

Me + Complex Numbers = (Antoinette + Rochester)(Claire + Catherine)

For all the wrong reasons.

jonghyun

2010-08-19T22:57:00.001+08:00

I think Jonghyun from Shinee's very cute =D

Plus the fact that he has wonderful vocals =DDDDD

Amazing

guilty pleasure

2010-08-19T17:41:00.002+08:00

Was indulging in my guilty pleasure and poof 1h 30min just disappeared.

Bwah, but =( indulging myself like this is the only thing I can do now. Andrea shouldn't have mentioned anything today then this 1.5 hours won't be wasted =______=

Mr Teh

2010-08-17T00:01:00.001+08:00

OH I just found out that Mr Teh is a fellow cat lover LOL

Sucking the case study dry

2010-08-16T23:55:00.001+08:00

I tried sucking the case study dry BUT I kind of failed terribly. Blah must master the art of sucking the case study dry of facts by prelims!!!

Jesus Messiah

2010-08-11T23:41:00.002+08:00

Song that we're going to play for worship this Sun. Is very touched by the kids singing Jesus Messiah that I cannot help but post it up.

Amazing kids

OH! On a side note, jonneo came back to school today! Either I grew bigger or he shrunk, he seems really small naooo

Life

2010-08-09T20:42:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wondered what your life looks like through someone else's eyes?

I'll be fine

2010-08-09T11:40:00.002+08:00

"I'll be fine, just hang on for a few more months"

Keep telling yourself that, and one day you'll actually believe it.

On a side note,

=( my left hip is swollen and painful. Who was the one who told me the coin drop was easy. =(

How come before learning the coin drop, i must learn other stuff first. Haiz depressing.

I wish I could think of stuff to try out for bboy, I keep thinking of conventional stuff. Maybe I should just keep practicing the basics first and work on the links instead since I'm really not creative. Downplaying on the creativity, bwah.

Love the way you lie

2010-08-09T00:30:00.000+08:00

Rihana seems a tad out of place in the video though. Other than that, love the video, love the song.

Woohoo

2010-08-08T16:14:00.001+08:00

YAYE FINALLY recovered, going to break in 1 hr. whee happy. I hate being sick, it's so depressing.

On a side note, its 3 weeks to prelims. Suddenly quite scared D=

Bitch

2010-08-03T22:40:00.001+08:00

Seriously, you're such a bitch. Making my life miserable. Even my friends think that you're ridiculous, who bloody hell confiscates pants and go through your stuff just to make sure you're not dancing and you're studying. Hello, even if I don't have my pants I can very well be doing something else and not studying. Are you stupid? And you're such a bitch all the time when I need money. How am I suppose to survive with less than 30 bucks a bloody week with no additional transport fees and no aid for class fund and the likes of it. And then you ask why I don't save. Bloody hell.

-

2010-07-29T21:29:00.001+08:00

If it breaks then you just have to fix it
If you lose it then just make it again
Even if it becomes different shape, at least it's still there

image of happiness

2010-07-28T21:00:00.001+08:00

Images of happiness

mmhmm

2010-07-25T19:24:00.003+08:00

mmhmm I guess this is it.

You obviously want to make me into a machine that is able to complete whatever you all have been unable to complete in your earlier life. You hate me for who I am.

Face it.

family

2010-07-25T00:04:00.003+08:00

I wish I had a real family.

Maybe I'm just self-centered and selfish so nothing seems enough or real to me. But I really wished I had a real family. A home that I can look forward to, not just for the bed. A circle that I can spend time with without feeling like an outsider.

Family.

Guess I thought wrong.

Expectations

2010-07-24T23:50:00.001+08:00

Expectations.

I guess if you don't expect anything things would seem a lot better for you. Because it doesn't matter if nothing happens.

Complex Numbers

2010-07-19T22:15:00.001+08:00

Complex numbers are, well, very complex O_O

Black and White

2010-07-17T23:03:00.001+08:00

If the world were black and white;
You'd be my rainbow in shades of gray

God Ran

2010-07-15T22:09:00.001+08:00

God ran to us when he saw us stumble and fall.

Reflections

2010-07-11T00:39:00.001+08:00

Quite sad

I wonder if there's a way to stop blanking out. Before the battle I'll remember very clearly what I want to do, and when I'm practicing it's fine, but once the battle starts and I start toprocking everything goes down the drain. Down down down. Maybe I should train mini sets instead of long sets so that it'll be easier to link everything together if I forget, and train until my body can remember what to do and just execute them when needed. Boy say I very kanchiong so I self-fragged while battling =(

FLIMSY HANDS during toprock and FLIMSY LEGS during backrock. Faint sia. I didn't realize it was so bad, need to think of how I can make it look less flimsy. Especially for backrock coz I think I got use my leg, maybe I'll get someone to see my backrocks and comment on them. I really don't think it's the injuries, I think it's me. And my sets quite empty too, need to start learning and actually getting solid freezes that I can use while drawing inspiration and getting new moves. AND START USING STUFF LIKE PRETZEL. Zomg. I told myself today must use pretzel and baby freeze, so I planned it in my sets, then- LOL gg-ed

I need to make a study/training plan so that I can lead a healthy study life and improve. Maybe I use this period to get solid freezes. Haiz

On a happier note;
GRTAZ TO SHAOWEE FOR WINNING RTTF!!!!
He BEST, never even prepare LOL Freaking sick la

Recover

2010-07-11T00:00:00.001+08:00

I need to stop breaking for awhile and recover first. I realized that my body's seriously quite screwed already, I bet my knees soft bone's dying. That plus the weird ankle, and weird wrist and evil back, haiz.

Okay. But once I recover, I'm going to train harder than now. Haven't done anything in a long while, feeling a bit sad and angry that I wasted so much time. I need to start training freezes too, my sets seriously very empty. And my hand's very flimsy when I do toprock =( No one told me before.

Sucks.

Shooting stars

2010-07-05T19:02:00.001+08:00

Do you not know?
A shooting star that leaves long trail is a star that carries love and a shooting star that disappears in an instant is a star that takes your hurt away.

Cousin

2010-07-05T13:13:00.001+08:00

Ah. My cousin is a shut-in. It feels a little weird to have a shut-in as a cousin. I wonder what direction life's going to take from here

Environment

2010-07-05T11:37:00.001+08:00

People are products of their environment

MATH

2010-07-01T22:42:00.001+08:00

I HATE MATH I REALLY DO.

How do those mathematicians even stand being around numbers all day. This really sucks

GOOD GRIEF

Unification

2010-06-28T19:51:00.001+08:00

YAYE so cute. http://globalvoicesonline.org/2010/06/17/south-korea-tensions-went-under-world-cup-anesthestia/

The temporary unification of North and South Korea because of the World Cup. I guess the world cup does have its positive points after all.

Chinese people have such difficult names

Deng Xiao Ping – Zhou En Lai – Li Peng – Jiang Ze Min – Zhu Rong Ji: I need something to help me remember their names =_________=

Tired

2010-06-28T18:57:00.001+08:00

Really tired but there's still 2 more papers tomorrow. I think I'll be cramming the entire night today and survive on coffee or sth tmr.

Okay goodbye blog and hello SEZ and Deng Xiao Peng

Test

2010-06-27T18:52:00.001+08:00

Nice picture

2010-06-27T18:36:00.002+08:00

This is such a nice picture, love the girl's expression.

MUG MUG MUG

2010-06-26T23:42:00.001+08:00

Test from Microsoft Word

Oil Crisis and Debt Crisis

The first oil crisis was the Yom Kippur War in 1971 when the Arabs cut back on oil supply in order to force the Western countries to sympathize with the Arab cause. This led to the tripling of oil prices from $3 to $12 per barrel. The world was also undergoing an inflation rate of 8% which caused the impact to become greater. The import prices of non-oil producing countries increased from 6billion to 16billion dollars. Thus, the increased oil prices resulted in the 1974 to 1975 recession. This was followed by the second oil crisis which occurred in 1979 when Iranian oil workers decided to cut off all oil exports in order to dispose of the Shah. The decrease in oil was not substantial as OPEC supplied the oil needed. However, speculation and the perceived shortage of oil led to a large spike in oil prices and great instability in the oil industry. It was further exacerbated by the Iran-Iraq war which caused oil prices to rise to a high of $33 per barrel. US industries saw a 10% fall in output and global trade. This then led to the 1982 debt crisis where excessive borrowing by Third World Countries in the 1970s led to a greatly weakened world economy as they resulted in bad debts as these countries were unable to pay their debts. Mexico, Brazil and Argentina were the worst hit countries and owed thousands of billions to international organizations.

6 years ago

2010-06-25T22:51:00.002+08:00

I just found these in my drawer.

Hokien Huay Kuan 5-School Primary 6 Combined Preliminary Examination (1)

English Language

Paper 2

TOTAL: 12/40

CHIJ St. Nicholas Girls' School Primary 6 Preliminary Examination

Mathematics

TOTAL: 51/100

O_O

Seems like I was never smart after all

monstar

2010-06-25T22:07:00.002+08:00

I'm evolving into a monster. I nom nom nom and all the sweets and chocs are gone.

I think i consumed more than 500g of sugar this week. Imma gonna turn diabetic.

A goner for blocks.

2010-06-21T12:07:00.000+08:00

MAD

Music and Dance

Mad about Dance

Mug and Dance

Mug and Die

proof

2010-06-20T20:41:00.002+08:00

ME AND KELVIN TEY WERE TALKING ABOUT PROOF.

` ΜΛD .†.Pinky says:

*i think proof quite nice to quote from when you feeling angry

` ΜΛD bboy ĶΣŁVĬŃ ahh ... siao liao lah =.= says:

*i cant even rmb the story liao

*lol

` ΜΛD .†.Pinky says:

*coz got a lot of expletives

` ΜΛD bboy ĶΣŁVĬŃ ahh ... siao liao lah =.= says:

*when u angry

*is just the f word

*from catherine

` ΜΛD .†.Pinky says:

*true

*so many

*rampant usage

` ΜΛD bboy ĶΣŁVĬŃ ahh ... siao liao lah =.= says:

*y shakespeare so vulgar one LOL

` ΜΛD .†.Pinky says:

*HAR?

*shakespeare?

*its DAVID AUBURN

And then we talked about TTOTS

` ΜΛD bboy ĶΣŁVĬŃ ahh ... siao liao lah =.= says:

*ttots not appropriate la lols

*they are supposed to be prince n princesses LOL

` ΜΛD .†.Pinky says:

*HUH

*WHO?

*WHAT PRINCE AND PRINCESS

*tian ah

` ΜΛD bboy ĶΣŁVĬŃ ahh ... siao liao lah =.= says:

*???

*BIANCA n KATE?

NO WONDER HE FAIL LIT

things

2010-06-20T16:24:00.002+08:00

Spent the entire morning staring out of the window. I know I should be mugging for blocks but-

ssedpreed

fuck

2010-06-20T13:36:00.001+08:00

fuck.

so hur. fuck.

boty spore

2010-06-19T22:54:00.003+08:00

HAHA YAYE BAKAU WON. ALL THAT WAITING AND WAITING AND NOT STUDYING WAS SO WORTH IT! Even standing on the bass speakers with qr and enduring all the scary vibrations from the amp was worth it!

They're freaking sick. Bakau was super clean la, like even if they crashed they recovered so nicely that its WOAHHHH. And the battle was FIERCE =D

Adriel's last set was imba sick.

and Shaowee's really dope.

Mighty respect.

On a side note;

Maybe MAD can get more funds now LOL since shaowee repping Singapore in boty SEA

icey ice

2010-06-19T00:19:00.002+08:00

I WANT TO GET ICEY ICE.

SHIT LA.

I WILL GET IT SOON. WILL DRILL MY BASICS AT THE SAME TIME.

Doing too much choreos would make you lose your basics sian.

bleed

2010-06-17T22:27:00.001+08:00

I bleed my heart out on this (virtual) paper for you

wlao

2010-06-17T14:45:00.002+08:00

BLOCKS ARE COMING SOON AND WA FREAK IT'S SUPER ULTRA SIAN THESE FEW DAYS.
I can't even bring/ wear berms coz my ma presumes im going to dance, then if I'm going to dance, I can't go out. WTS.

It's like DANCE and MUG are mutually exclusive to parents-
If you dance you can't mug.
AS IF.

SIAN ttm, so that I don't even feel like mugging anymore.

2010-06-16T21:12:00.003+08:00

Today was such an unlucky day. Somehow or other I managed to slip down the stairs 3 times while going for tuition.

dreams

2010-06-13T22:31:00.002+08:00

It's pretty depressing to be dreaming every night. I heard that when you have dreams and remember every scene, you lose sleep.

Plus when those dreams wake you up, you lose even more sleep.

I want to sleep.

Missing you

2010-06-12T20:49:00.000+08:00

Ah I miss you all over again

Turning my eyes upon Jesus

2010-06-11T22:08:00.004+08:00

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in his wonderful face.

And the things on earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of his glory and grace.

This song kept replaying over and over again in my head. It popped out of nowhere. I never liked this song, nor have I heard it recently, and yet, the familiar tune piped in my head.

Turn my eyes upon Jesus. How long have I turned away from him? Spiraling down into nothingness, based on the transient nature of the superficial around me.

Look full in his wonderful face. How long have I been looking in other directions, getting too engrossed in whatever I was doing so much so that I forget to spend quality time with God, forget to reflect on the day's activities.

Days just moved by so rapidly that I had no time to stop and breathe. Now that its over-

For how long have I been stagnant in my relationship with him.

It all comes back now.

The feeling of security and love.

And the things on earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.

Justice

2010-06-07T21:13:00.001+08:00

Justice for all

Justice for one

Justice for none on the dance floor

breaking

2010-06-05T18:33:00.003+08:00

I naively thought that after dance night I'll be able to break to my heart's content and still maintain my current standard. I was so wrong.

Injuries. Never thought about how much it can impact a person until recently when I was met with an onslaught of injuries. Neck, toe, back, knee. You name it, I should have it, even if I don't have it, I should have seen it.

Now my knee's so painful that I can't kneel. And when I exert, it becomes numb.

There goes breaking to my heart's content.

I wish I was less prone to accidents.

I wish I was agile enough to pick up nice footwork.

But haiz.

When my knee recovers, I'm going to drill.

something's wrong

2010-06-01T23:33:00.002+08:00

And when its all over, you find that no one's talking to you because everyone else is talking to each other.

and you don't matter

dance night 2010

2010-06-01T00:06:00.002+08:00

I love you guys.

I really love you guys.

When the seniors told us that we'd be crying this time because dance night is over, I didn't believe them. Or rather, I thought that I wouldn't cry. Now, there's a terrible ache in my heart, an empty void where MAD used to fill. Despite telling myself that I wouldn't cry because we should be happy that we churned out such a great performance and there's no regrets left, after seeing corpse and alan crying, tears just started pouring too.

Time flew so quickly. Fleeting, like a humming bird.

It has been almost 5 months since we started planning stage stuff for dance night, even though it only got hectic around 1.5months ago. It's been around 3.5months since we started learning all the choreos and 1 month since the first salt full run started.

We've come a long way to this standard where we rocked the stage and left the audie rockin'.

WE WERE SO AWESOME.

Fusion 1

It was a hasty decision to join fusion 1 but I've never regretted a moment of it. Love everyone in it! Really appreciate that they tried so hard to teach me and continued to believe in me even when I lost faith in myself. I had a lot of fun in there and I believe everyone else had the same amount of fun or maybe more.

Will miss all the late night practices when we stayed back so late that we were in risk of being locked in. Will always remember the full moon which we saw twice as an entire fusion one. Will always remember the spastic times we had together and the terrible guitar hero session which we had at sengyew's house.

ROARR FUSION 1 MONSTARRR, FUSION ONE LOVE. HEART

Bboy Item

Another year without Felix. I was quite worried when I heard that Felix broke his leg and was not going to be with us anymore BUT thanks to SHENG, VERN and CONG, us j2s managed to pull through. WE WERE AWESOME. The choreos were awesome. No matter what people think, we've tried our best and we ROCK.

[Felix says that he and boy are freaking proud of us =DDDDDDDDDDDDDD]

BBOY FTW.

BBOY BOY's choreo was nice too!! Will miss all the times we spent in SALT, miss all the time that we spent pracing our choreos.

I know that I was super irritated at one point of time, irritated to the extent of cursing and swearing during the bboy item during full run. But it has changed. Dance night 2010 bboy item, Something Special is indeed something special.

And now it has become something special deep within my heart.

HEART

Fusion 2

This is the fusion that I was originally in. Somehow, I ended up being the only girl in a guys choreo. And our costumes ended up looking like something from Joyce and the Boys. Thus, with the appearance of a cap and the pokemon spoof, Ashlee and the Boys emerged from the depths of nothingness. LOL

Had lots of fun in fusion two, we were really quite slack but we worked when we were supposed to. Really want to apologize for that being there when I should be because I had to juggle but I really love everyone in fusion 2.

HEART

Transcendance really did transcend through boundaries.

Stage Comm

Jialing, Junan and Corpse were so super super super responsible and efficient so much so that most of the time there was nothing much to do. Cong is freaking dope. His trailers and linkers look exactly like professionally done videos. Especially the bboy part for the mad trailer. It's really freaking freaking nice.

I really HEART stage comm.

We did well this year. Ahead of time all the time! And even though everything seemed so unprepared during the first few runs and we were ultra worried that nothing would even pull through for dance night, we were proven wrong! Perhaps our constant hounding has instilled some sense of urgency in them. Although the lightings and linkers screwed up for certain items over the span of 3 days, we still did well!!

SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE!

Backstage Crew

Zomg my favourite non-MAD people!

They are really good. There were only 4 people but they managed the backstage so well after the first audie run that little of us had any complaints about them. And they were SO CUTE, giving little words of encouragements and support to the dancers just before they enter the stage. Trying their best to manage everything backstage by themselves and doing an awesome job!

Without them, dance night would not have been so successful.

GOGOGO BACKSTAGE CREW!!

Thank you God

Thank you God for making this performance a success. Lord you have never disappointed us, never once.

We'll transcend through time.

DANCE NIGHT 2010: TRANSCENDANCE

But

It will never be over for me.

Transcendance transcending through time.

haiz

2010-05-29T11:43:00.001+08:00

One more day left.

And then the end of this would come.

surreal

2010-05-25T22:38:00.002+08:00

It came across to me as a very surreal feeling.

Something out of this world, something extraordinary.

But then again it came to me as I was eating fish - probably the most mundane event you could ever come across. At that moment, my heart clenched and convulsed as if it was trying to force an alien being out of it.

It was rather strange.

I stared into space trying to comprehend that feeling. Perhaps it was nervousness getting to me, perhaps it was stress that has caused my heart to skitter around, perhaps it was my subconsciousness playing tricks on my conscious mind.

Well, it was really quite a surreal feeling, as if I was looking at the world from another perspective.

I wonder if it'll come again

so emo

2010-05-20T01:06:00.000+08:00

So many emo people in the world

3111.) You’re not good for me, and I’m not meant for you. How I wish it wasn’t so. Because I like you, and I want to love you and I can only hope you do too. Even if you’re not good for me, and I’m not meant for you. At least I’ll get to feel what it’s like to love somebody.

http://blogconfession.tumblr.com

whee

2010-05-18T01:09:00.003+08:00

whee

One year and one week

2010-05-16T07:43:00.001+08:00

Blogging from my father's blackberry now.
Feels a little strange.
Blah.

Later we're going to buy costumes for dance night.
Qianrui's post was especially impactful eventhough I didn't get to hear the snrs.

And so what are we dancing for?

dance night

2010-05-15T22:09:00.002+08:00

It's exactly 2 weeks and 1 day to dance night 2010, transcendance.

I wonder if it's normal to feel super ultra mighty screwed for most of the choreos you are in. Somehow or other, I just feel super unprepared and quite scared for everything this year. The feeling's super unsettling as compared to last year.

But then again, this year was a lot more fun that last year.

I guess we'd feel a lot this year. I hope we would.

For now, being on and cooperative is the only thing we can do.

Bring energy in.

Back please heal faster

blah

2010-05-09T00:24:00.001+08:00

Sinking in uneasiness.

Designer babies. O_O

headstand

2010-05-03T23:32:00.001+08:00

I was forced to do a headstand today.

Imma become stupid liao

Scared and painful

2010-05-03T19:52:00.002+08:00

It's less than a month away.

Scared/Excited

You've stopped.

Painful/Relieved

whee

2010-05-03T00:02:00.003+08:00

Today was fun beyond comparison.

It's been such a long time since I've sessioned without thinking about dance night choreos and how to solve its related problems, or what I can't do in the choreos.

But now that I had my time of fun, it's time to work harder.

Because, it doesn't work that way. If we try our best, it'll be fine.

It just doesn't. Come what may, we'd defeat it.

We just have to try harder than our best and surpass whatever limits we put on ourselves.

Jiayou us.

good days

2010-04-30T00:15:00.002+08:00

It has been one bad day after another for quite some time, today was a breakaway from the deteriorating days. I guess today was rather fun. A happy slack day, Fusion 2 guys and Fusion 1 made the day =))

A message that Huijun sent me just barely an hour ago reminded me of you. We haven't talked for so long that sometimes it feels as if we barely know each other. I wonder what it would be like if we're still as close. I really miss those days where we could just go on and on and on talking about everything and absolutely nothing. I really miss those days when we talked on the phone all night.

But what is done is done, at least we're still friends.

Will be missing you

I told myself that I would not ever again.

I won't.

So stop it.

That is if you can.

try our best

2010-04-28T00:04:00.002+08:00

If we try our best, we'd surely make it through.

No doubts about that.

Don't give up coz there's so much opposition against us now, but rather let us be strengthened by it so that we might be able to come through this. Let God give us strength to pull through and believe that everything would be fine.

After all, no matter how much they oppose us, no matter how much they try to limit us, it's still our dance night. Let them come, and come as they may but no one can ever take our dance night away from us.

reflection

2010-04-27T23:24:00.002+08:00

Sometimes being sick and all allows you to take a break from the world. It's as if time has come to a standstill just for you. You live in your tiny little bubble of suspended time reflecting on what you have done over the past few weeks, years even. And when you come to be at peace with yourself, your sickness heals, throwing you out into the world again, leaving you to get sucked up by the whirlwind of activities.

funny

2010-04-26T22:26:00.002+08:00

Slept for the whole of today, going back to sleep soon. LOL

Cui ttm

I think this is quite funny coz I forgot where I saw someone post, I love dancing so much that even when there's no music I'd still dance HAHA

Chanced upon this while looking through different interviews

"If there is no music, and you're dancing. Then there's a problem."

- Ken Swift

sick

2010-04-26T09:09:00.001+08:00

Down with a fever of 39 degrees.

And was so looking forward to fusion later

jump

2010-04-23T22:47:00.001+08:00

Never said I was nice

Never said I wanna see my name in lights

Just wanna jam when the beats go bang

And the people throw their hands in the air all night

- Jump, Southside Rockers

wrong

2010-04-23T22:04:00.003+08:00

I wonder what it would be like if everything could go smoothly. I wonder what it would be like in the weeks to come. I wonder how our item would turn out to be. I wonder how do the others feel about this.

When you find that something is wrong, you feel as though everything else is going wrong too. And then I get tired more easily. Was pretty unhappy with myself today too because I was so slack. Ohwells.

Was pretty irritated over other stuff too.

I want to go for the opening of Recognize! studios D=

Even the jrs went.

fml

nothing is ever enough

2010-04-22T22:47:00.001+08:00

Nothing is ever enough.

When you don't have something, you keep striving harder to reach it.

But once you manage to achieve it, there would always be something else

When would it end?

I don't think it will.

Is it bad?

But it is only Human to feel this way.

RIP Guru Ganstarr

2010-04-21T21:08:00.001+08:00

R.I.P Guru

Gangstarr will always live on.

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1637388/20100420/gang_starr.jhtml

wonder

2010-04-18T00:19:00.003+08:00

Sometimes it gets depressing when people don't believe that you didn't do something just because you're known to be more defiant as compared to the other party. I wonder how it feels to be undoubted no matter what happens.

I would appreciate it if you stop putting words into my mouth. If you want me to, I'll say fuck directly in your face. So stop telling my mother that I've been saying fuck over and over again if I haven't. My patience isn't unending.

Smses. I wonder if they have anything to do with what you'd be going through. It seems like most smses that you send would come true.

Maybe we should stop.

pw

2010-04-17T01:09:00.000+08:00

What is done is done.

The Lord will always provide a path

mp3

2010-04-14T20:22:00.000+08:00

WALAO! I LOST MY MP3

Cui

2010-04-13T22:43:00.002+08:00

I really hate those days where you feel as if you can't do anything. And when you do actually try something you're like cui ttm.

I have no idea why I'm so cui. Was thinking and exploring limitations today, it sucks being a girl. It's like the amount that you train is super I dunno like shit. You're still like shit. You feel like shit. You're not even comparable to a guy that doesn't train.

It sucks even more when you're upset about something and it just affects you. And you start turning into a pile of shit.

HC PRAYER GROUP

2010-04-11T18:23:00.002+08:00

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAYEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

HE HAS MADE ANYTHING POSSIBLE!!

FUYO

2010-04-11T02:07:00.005+08:00

ZOMG FUYO!!

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.

Yaye we achieved our aim so its now time to train harder.

I thought I achieved my other aim also, to rep HC bgirls and show that we're not some cui disgusting thing. Although my energy level was low and i had very limited vocab, I still quite happy with myself.

Oh happy happy too LOL We battled Style Groovas and Bakau Rockers LOL

Scary TTM

HAHA good job externality, RYAN especially (so don't beat yourself up too badly). Proud of you. Ws, Kelvin, Corpse great luck sia, pick the star go straight into top 16 LOL.

Shaowee Haojie Vern! Great job!! HAHA thought they took the 2nd battle, but haiz. ohwells.

Haha gratz to thumbs up, the winners of fuyo 2010. and to junyi for being so disgusting!!

Much Love to those that came down to support us

NOW WE START WORKING HARDER =DDDDDDDD

you

2010-04-08T20:58:00.005+08:00

I WANT TO BE A TREE

WHEE

the jig is up

2010-04-08T00:23:00.000+08:00

The Jig is Up

Edison Glass

Your eyes see further than mine

I can see as far as the sun and the moon in the sky

Your hands are warmer than mine

I'm still alive, but I can't feel the warmth from inside

How can you say the warmth makes you?

How can you say your sight leads you home?

How can you say the warmth makes you?

How can you say?

I've asked with the right intent and bright eyes

But what I can't seem to figure out is how and why

And I can't seem to handle it

I'll wait for your words, I'll trust you'll say

We can't handle it all

And you'll say

How can you say the warmth makes you?

How can you say your sight leads you?

How can you say?

Your eyes see further than mine

I can see as far as the sun and the moon in the sky

I'll wait for your words, I'll trust you'll say

roar

2010-04-07T00:17:00.001+08:00

Now. For this time and again.

Chill.

Universal Brotherhood.

fuyo

2010-04-06T00:53:00.000+08:00

4days.

I'm darn scared.

proud

2010-04-05T22:37:00.001+08:00

ZOMG.

SO AMAZING!

CONGRATZ TO THE BARCELONA PEOPLE!

I heard they got amazing results like 1st in overall choreo and 1st in ethnic dance or sth like that yaye!

Mad Modern ownage!

and

CONGRATZ TO THE DISCUS PEOPLE TODAY!

2nd 5th 8th!

NOT BAD WOOHOO!

wheeee peilih (y)

nationals

2010-04-04T21:52:00.002+08:00

ZOMG imma very slow but woahhh HC throws darn zai! Sweeping all top 3 placings for A boys jav woohoo!

Tmr will be A girls discus! GO PEILIH, ZEXIN AND INGRID! jiayou jiayou jiayou!!

So excited for them!

Awesome, note to self:

there's A boys discus on thursday but i dunno anyone so. LOL.

A girls jav and A boys shots on friday!!

Jiayou PEILIH, YINGHUI, JESSICA AND YOUJIE!!!!

A girls shots on tues (12)!

GO ZEXIN, goujun and ingrid!!!

SO EXCITED FOR THEMMMMM

phail

2010-04-03T19:35:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, you get a day that you feel like a phailed person.

Yesterday, I fell asleep on the computer chair, mid-sms I woke up at around 6 with backache. My father found a cockroach in his shoe. Feeling very tired, I dragged myself to school, only to have my contacts fall out in the middle of the psychometric test.

After the test, gong and blind I walked to salt and almost fell down the stairs. When I walked out of salt, I FELL down the stairs.

When I got home, it wasn't raining, so I went to the bball court to bboy since no one was using the space. But after 5min it started pouring.

Boo sucks.

Listening to Cookin on 3 Burners.

Ohman they're really good

slope

2010-04-02T23:52:00.000+08:00

Today, we went to SMU.

We bboyed on the slope. (of all places, we bboyed on the slope)

epic.

The slope gave me blue-blacks

I don't like slopes

humans

2010-04-02T00:48:00.001+08:00

Humans actually look quite like monkeys.

ah

2010-04-01T00:03:00.003+08:00

fiak

tiring

2010-03-30T23:47:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I posted:

Tmr will be a great day!

And I was truly convicted of it. But I never knew how wrong I could get.

Great took on an entirely different meaning. A sardonic meaning.

Demerit points. I used to be such a good kid. I didn't chalk up any demerit points in secondary school, did not get into trouble at all. But it all changed in JC. I don't believe that I'm breaking more rules this year, in fact I've been feeling more obedient lately. But it's just so strange. Demerit points just keep coming and coming AND COMING. It's flooding my account. And I have no idea why.

Freak. How careful must I be to stop these demerit points from pouring like rain.

As if the demerit point wasn't enough, training was just bad bad bad bad bad all the way. Not sure if it's tiredness or fatigue, but my body is aching everywhere that it's hard to even stretch. So today's training was quite bad. Thank God for daryll, vern, ws and oneski.

And I dunno what's up with the j1 girls.

Sometimes, when I'm weary and tired, I feel as if life is flashing past me so fast that when I reach out and try to grab something, my palm closes in on thin air.

The suffocating emptiness that threatens to eradicate all you've once hoped for.

And they say, hope is the first step to disappointment.

How very true indeed.

boo

2010-03-29T23:03:00.001+08:00

Ultimately, everyone would disappear.

Why were people born?

Why do they live?

Why do they die?

Why do we ask such questions?

school starts tmr

2010-03-28T21:58:00.003+08:00

SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW.

BLAH

No more late nights outside.

More grumbling and scolding ROAR!

haiz ohwells what can i do D=

On a side note LOL

Remind and Babylon/Baviron are freaking sick!

qianrui whee

2010-03-27T13:59:00.001+08:00

yaye qianrui train with me!

LOL

hip hop

2010-03-27T02:33:00.002+08:00

Crazy respect for these people from TBB Rocking Crew

(Being locked away,) you still can't stop Hip Hop. Hip Hop is life, its creativeness, sound art, vibe, looks, it's positive.

- E love, TBB Rocking Crew

"Hip Hop was the blood that flowed through the vein (bloodline) of the individual, which sparked its adrenaline, and ignited one's body and soul to produce talents, skills and potential, through its creative non-violent dance. Gives us something positive to look forward to on our free time...

... the best part about it, was, that whether you won or lost, home you would go to practice, and get even better at what you already knew, or learn newer dancing styles and techniques"

- Richie, TBB Rocking Crew (The Bronx Boys)

vegarawk

2010-03-26T12:15:00.002+08:00

zomg bgirl vegarawk looks darn cute LOL

and ohshit my shoes ripped apart wts

for huijun

2010-03-26T10:42:00.002+08:00

lol huijun asked me to blog abt yesterday so here it is.

Hmm. LOL yesterday was... I dunno, a strange day of sorts for me. Rather enjoyable but nevertheless, strange.

I just found out that I can't dye my hair white because the hairdresser refuses to bleach my entire head D=, he was like oh put extensions can already, I won't dye your hair white, it'll spoil your hair.

Sian then I'll have to think of new colour. Sucks

Shopping with andrea, edwyna and for a short while, wern...

I don't like this season's clothes, like nothing to buy boo sucks!

Yvonne & Huijun

LOL I bet this is the part she wants to see.

Hmm, rather fortunate that I had Yvonne with me, if not i'll be emo-ing in a corner by myself. LOL. Don't know why she keep saying that she's really lousy, because I think she's really not bad. Walao I took like FOREVER to learn my salsa/indian/shimmie, then in 6 months her steps look fine. How is that lousyyyy. Have more confidence la =)

HOHO, we should train together more often and build out relationship. =D yaye

can't wait for As to be over.

and Huijun was hilarious LOL. epic fail

ohman, I don't even know how to start blogging about it.

Actually I feel like As are over liao. wts

Have no motivation to mug.

Feels like a sitting duck.

I heart my sister

2010-03-22T21:34:00.001+08:00

I heart my sister.

Just felt like saying it

Ohwells.

hate math